The Takers…

We all have had someone in our lives at some point…that person who will “crash on your couch until they get paid” and while your still trying to figure out who they are and how they can be so comfortable they will have eaten all of your food, drank all of your alcohol, and sucked up any other time, resource, or energy that you made available to them…

As your doing their dishes that you left in the sink all week in the hopes that they would get the hint to wash them…you may ask yourself…How did I not see that they wanted to take advantage of me? Am I being too harsh? Do they want to change? …did they really use my toothbrush? You will drive yourself crazy the reality is is that YOU didn’t do anything wrong or miss anything…in fact chances are you are a good, kind, person because that is exactly what “the takers” are counting on…

While we may never get the $20 they owe us back, we can learn some very valuable things from them…

First we have to understand some key taker survival tactics…they usually are good people at the core so to survive as takers they have to subscribe to belief systems and use behaviors that allow them to justify to themselves that how they are acting is ok…

Takers live in the world of their own emotion – How they feel moment to moment determines what they do. They rarely acknowledge ability to impact or influence own emotion.

Victim Mentality- They will attribute desire to who they are over owning their actions. “I want to be a great employee, I don’t know why they would fire me just because I’m always late and I don’t get along with my co-workers. I tell them I want to be great all the time, I don’t get it…”

Excuses, excuses, excuses- defensive, defensive, defensive- There is always a reason why they can’t or someone stopping them…from everything…

Drama – they want to be your only friend and will do everything in their power to remove your other friends from your world…if they can create a crisis then people will move faster to do what they want…

What we can learn from them…it’s always better to be a giver than a taker…but, look inside we all have some taker tendencies and those can rob us of our best lives. Anytime you have a taker encounter scan yourself and be honest, you’ll be extra sensitive to it from observing the taker, take pride in being someone who owns their problems and works through them, lean on God, and create habits for success then stick to them. Lastly remember as Eleanor Roosevelt said, ” it is never too late to be who you might have been”

Life is defined by what we are willing to do that other people aren’t…get uncomfortable and pursue greatness…

M.

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